One Favor
by AADale
Summary: No one's stronger than the captains of the Gotei 13, and nothing's more valuable than an unconditional favor from one of them. A promised favor causes havoc around Soul Society. Enjoy! (I wrote this a few days after watching Baccano! and it shows – I'd forgotten about things like main characters and story line, but I think it's fun.)


One Favor

No one's stronger than the captains of the Gotei 13, and nothing's more valuable than an unconditional favor from one of them. One promised favor causes mischief around Soul Society. Enjoy! (I wrote this a few days after watching Baccano! and it shows – I'd forgotten about things like main characters and story line, but I think it's fun.)

/

I don't own Bleach, or Baccano! for that matter. I don't own any anime franchises, sad to say.

/

1)

It was 10:15 in the morning, and Lieutenant Nanao Ise stood in the hallway, knocking on the door. She wished there was some other way around this, but it was her duty to open this door and face whatever was on the other side. She steeled herself, and opened it.

"Captain?"

She entered the quarters of the captain of the Eighth Division. The blinds were closed, so she turned on the lights. It wasn't quite as messy as she'd imagined it, but she wasn't here for decorating tips. She addressed the unmoving body on the bed. Captain Kyoraku was face-down; he hadn't removed his robe and sandals from the night before. She'd seen him hung over before – plenty of times – but this time he didn't appear to be breathing. She was no fool, though; she knew that the lack of movement could be a trap. Rather than approaching her captain, she picked up an empty bottle from the floor and threw it at him. It bounced off his head.

"Captain?" she said again.

"Uhhhhh."

"Sir, it's 10:15. There's a Captain's meeting at 10:30. You're required to attend."

"No I'm not. I resigned my commission."

"Sir, that's not true."

"I was fired. I was part of that whole Aizen thing. Din't I tell you? I was working with Four-Eyes the whole time."

"Sir, you have to go."

"I can't. I really can't. You go instead."

"Sir, I can't just show up at a Captain's meeting."

"I told you, I resigned my commission. You're acting captain."

She threw another bottle at him. It plunked off his skull. This was pretty bad; he usually caught the second one in midair.

She said nothing.

"No, you do it", he replied. He appeared to be unconscious, replying to her objections in his sleep.

"Sir, I'm not authorized to go in your place. It's against the laws of Soul Society."

"OK, you're right," he said, finally showing signs of life. "I can't order you to go. So do it as a favor to me."

She looked him over. To be honest, there was no way he was going make it to the meeting in the shape he was in. And she was kind of curious about attending a meeting with the elite of Soul Society (he normally didn't let her join him). It might be fun.

"All right, I'll do it", she said at last. "But you're going to owe me a favor."

"Hrugg."

"No, right now. I want you to put it in writing." She pulled a blank page out of the book in her hand, and handed him a pen. He wrote:

_One Favor. Captain Kyoraku Shunsui._

_/_

2)

She wouldn't exactly call it "fun", but Nanao was glad that she'd attended the Captain's meeting. The General himself had acknowledged her. Well, actually scowled at her, but she was sure that his anger was directed at her captain, not at her.

She felt a sense of relief as she walked back toward the Eighth Division headquarters. She was enjoying the fresh air when Captain Ukitake caught up with her.

"Shunsei was trying to break some kind of drinking record last night", he began. "I figured he'd be a mess this morning, huh?"

"It wasn't pretty", she admitted.

"So how did he talk you into going in his place? He's never managed that before."

"He promised me a favor in return. I got it in writing this time."

"A favor?" Ukitake looked intrigued.

She nodded, then pulled the slip of paper from her folder. Ukitake looked at it in fascination.

"I've got to have this. I've got to. I need this."

"Why? What would you do with it?"

"Oh, I don't even know." Ukitake practically glowed. "Blackmail him, humiliate him, just hold it over him…there are so many possibilities."

Nanao never really understood the rules of male friendship.

"How much do you want for it?" Ukitake asked.

"Oh, I couldn't…"

"How about I do your paperwork for a month."

A month? A month! Well, she couldn't refuse a captain, could she? That would be rude. And think of all the free time she'd have….

"Deal", she said, somewhat surprised at herself, and handed over the slip of paper.

/

3)

Captain Ukitake looked pale, even moreso than usual. He knew how much paperwork it took to maintain a division, but he had had no inkling how little of it Captain Kyoraku did himself. Nanao's workload was enormous. He was two weeks into his month-long commitment, and it was starting to take its toll on him.

He was hunched over his desk. He knew it was nighttime, but couldn't guess the hour. He had at least two hours of work to go when he heard a knock at his door.

"Captain Ukitake, sir?" Third-seat Kotetsu peered in.

"Oh, hi. What are you doing here so late?"

"I saw the light on and I came in to check on you. Is there anything I can do for you, Captain?"

"Oh, no. I've just got to finish up some paperwork for the Eighth Division."

"The Eighth? Why is that, sir?"

"It's a long story. If it were my own work I'd put it off until tomorrow, but I don't want to punish Kyoraku's division for my laziness."

"You're so considerate, sir. Are you sure you don't need any help?"

"I couldn't ask you to help. This isn't part of your assigned duties."

"Captain, you know that I'd do anything for you."

Ukitake considered the offer. The fact is, he'd gotten in over his head. He hated to pass along the favor that he was working so hard for, but it wouldn't be fair of him to make his third-seated officer work off his debt without some kind of compensation.

"OK, how about this. You help me out, and I'll give you one free captain's-level favor. Anything you want."

"_Anything?_" She blushed.

"That's what it says", he said, and pulled out the slip of paper.

Ukitake wasn't sure why, but Kotetsu seemed disappointed as she read the note. Nevertheless, she said, "ok", and sat down by her captain's side to work through the night.

/

4)

Kiyone showed up at the Fourth Division headquarters carrying a slip of paper. She tracked down her sister, the division's lieutenant.

"Hi, sis! What brings you here? Nothing's wrong, I hope?"

"I've got a deal to make with you." The shorter girl pulled her sister into an empty room.

"Do you see this?"

Isane read the note.

"You realize how much this is worth, right? A no-questions-asked favor from a captain?"

Isane nodded.

"I'll trade you. This for the picture."

Isane couldn't hide her disappointment. "Not the picture! You look so cute in that! It was so long ago. It's the only picture I have of you from before you were potty-trained."

Kiyone flinched. "I know."

Isane looked back at the note. "OK, under one condition. Keep the picture. Even if I can't have it, I want to know that you won't destroy it."

Kiyone considered. "OK, deal."

"All right", said Isane. "Now let me go get it", she said, as she headed off toward her office.

"YOU KEEP THAT PICTURE IN YOUR OFFICE?"

/

5)

Captain Kurostuchi walked into the main office of the Eighth Division. Kyoraku and Ise were reviewing a memo. Kurostuchi interrupted them.

"Captain, I'm here for a tissue and blood sample."

"Mayuri, what are you talking about?"

"That favor of yours. I got it, and I'm here to collect on it."

Shunsui peered at his fellow captain through squinting eyes. "You got it? How did you manage that?"

Kurotsuchi made eye contact briefly, then turned away. "From a friend."

"You don't have any friends."

"An associate. I'd rather not say whom."

"All right, then, let's see it."

"See it?"

"The note."

Kurotsuchi sighed. "Oh. I hadn't heard that it was in written form. My mistake."

The captain of the Twelfth Division exited the office without another word.

"Nanao, my dearest", Kyoraku said, "how many people know about that little favor?"

"I'd think that everyone in the Gotei 13 has heard about it by now." She allowed herself a wicked smile behind his back. "There's no telling who has it now, or what they're going to ask of you when they finally cash it in." He continued to gaze at the door, apprehensively.

/

6)

How many people in one division can get injured at the same time? When it's the Eleventh Division, the number can get pretty high. They always were tearing each other apart during training, and that meant that the Fourth Division was their second home. Tensions were higher than usual that day. Captain Unohana was on retreat in the mountains, so treatments were a lot slower, and the men of the Eleventh knew that there was no one around who could keep them in line.

To make matters worse, their captain was in the building, having just had his knee sewn up. Any other division would be on their best behavior when their captain was around, but the Eleventh tended to show off and act worse than normal in Kenpachi's presence.

They were picking on poor Hanataro and playing trampoline on the beds when Lieutenant Kotetsu came around the corner. She walked up to Captain Zaraki and looked him squarely in the eye. "Captain, may I have a word with you in private?"

He stood up without saying a word, towering over her. She turned and walked calmly and confidently toward a private exam room. The powerful captain followed her, a cocky look on his face, but also curious to see what she would do.

They entered the room, and her composure crumbled. She looked like she was about to faint. It took her a few seconds to remember what her plan was, then she fished out a slip of paper.

"Sir, how'd you like to fight Captain Kyoraku? Find out which one of you is stronger?"

"No way. He never goes all-out."

Isane showed him the paper.

"Huh. That's nice. I guess in exchange for this you want me to keep the guys in line, right?"

"I'd appreciate it, sir."

He plucked the note from her hand. "Fair enough."

He opened the door and stepped out. "Hey, morons! Behave yourselves!" he shouted. The men of his division immediately sat down in silence.

The lieutenant exited the room behind him. She could feel the warm looks of new-found respect from her fellow healers.

/

7)

Kenpachi didn't like losing. But he was down about a week's pay. He'd just lost five hands in a row against his little brat of a lieutenant. That kind of made sense, since she was the only one at the all-night Eleventh Division senior officer poker game who wasn't drinking. But now Yumichika was trying to push him around. Yumichika? No way.

The captain called his fifth-seat's bet and raised him a slip of paper. "See this? It's a favor from Captain Kyoraku. Anything you want. It's worth more than you've got in front of you."

Yumichika said casually, "all right, I suppose I'll call, then."

Kenny showed his cards. "Two pair. Jacks and sevens."

Yumichika looked at the cards in disgust. "Two pair is such an ugly hand. There's always one card that's doesn't match. Now – this – is a beautiful hand. All five cards are diamonds. There's such a symmetry to it. Look how they all complement each other."

/

8)

Acting Captain Hisagi looked at his personal calendar. He was leading the division in sparring drills at 2PM, then working on the monthly newsletter at 3, and was filling in for the fifth-seat on patrol duty for second shift. The weekly schedule was due tonight, and the injury report he was working on now was due…four hours ago. Great.

He never should have had lunch with Kira. If he'd worked through lunch, he maybe could have even squeezed in ten minutes of meditation this afternoon. But Kira wasn't doing so well, and Renji was too busy to cheer him up, and Momo, well, she was in no shape to cheer up anybody. He'd have to check in on her sometime tomorrow and see how she's doing.

There was a knock at the door. Hisagi looked up, and it was the dandy from the Eleventh Division, Yumichika. Hisagi never felt comfortable around him, ever since he'd been beaten down by him months ago. He'd never really noticed him before that; did Yumichika always have that arrogant smirk, or was it reserved for the lieutenant who had wrongly assumed he could beat him?

But Hisagi could see right away that Yumichika's attitude was different today. The look on his face was almost polite.

"May I help you?" Hisagi asked.

"Lieutenant Hisagi, I was hoping I could have a word with you."

"Of course. Come in."

Yumichika entered the room and shut the door. He sat down and began, "I have a business proposition for you. You're the only one I could come to, because you know about my secret. I've just come into possession of this note" – he handed it across the lieutenant's desk – "and I'm willing to trade it in exchange for some private training. Now, don't get me wrong, I believe in the Eleventh Division's principles of fighting, but my zanpakuto is a kido-type, and I know next to nothing about kido. It seems unwise for me to not at least understand the basics."

Hisagi listened to the rest of Yumichika's plea. He even paused and pretended to think about it after Yumichika was done. But a fellow officer was asking for help to become a better fighter, and there was no way he was going to say no.

"Okay," Hisagi said as he looked at his calendar, "how busy are you on Wednesdays between 5:45 and 6:30?"

"AM or PM?"

"I don't know. It doesn't matter. Whichever's best for you."

/

9)

Lieutenant Hisagi was in a hurry. He had to transmit the week's requisition forms to the First Division. He was planning on flash-stepping his way there – he figured he could save himself five minutes each direction – but then he saw Lieutenant Matsumoto walking in the same direction, and decided to join her. He dropped to a normal walk.

"Lieutenant, bringing paperwork to the headquarters, I see?"

"Yup. You too? I'm surprised you don't have a lower-level officer run the papers for you."

"Oh, well, they're all pretty busy today."

Matsumoto smiled sweetly. "You know, I heard a rumor about you."

"Really? What's that?"

"That you have Kyoraku's favor."

Hisagi was stunned. But then again, he realized that he shouldn't have been. Word gets around in Soul Society, and Matsumoto is usually the first one spreading it.

"I'm not even going to ask how you heard about that."

"Oh, everyone's talking about it. They say that Yumichika traded it to you in exchange for sex."

"_WHAT?_"

"I personally don't believe that you'd give yourself away so cheaply, but that's what everyone's saying."

"But…but I…"

"Now, the interesting thing to me is that you have that favor. And I'm willing to make you an offer for it."

Hisagi had no reply; he never did his best thinking around Matsumoto, and was doing his best just to keep up with the conversation.

"You give me that favor and I'll give you exactly what you want. One night, I'll make all your troubles disappear."

"Whh…hh"

"I could make all your dreams come true", she said in a sing-song voice.

How did she know about his dreams? Wait, _all_ of them? Even the one where she's wearing a…

"You don't think I mean I'll have sex with you, do you? Don't be silly. You and I will just disappear for a night, go to an inn or something. Everyone will hear about it. The rumors about you and Yumichika will disappear. Your reputation will be restored. Better than it's ever been, actually. You know I'm a real catch."

Hisagi tried to sort it out. He never asked for Kyoraku's favor, but he did Yumichika a favor, and now he was going to give it away to fix his reputation which got ruined because of a favor he did. It just didn't make any sense. But like always, he knew he'd end up agreeing to it. Then a wild thought occurred to him: if he and Matsumoto actually went through with this, and the two of them went to an inn together…this could be an opportunity to get a full night's sleep.

"OK", he said.

/

10)

Captain Hitsugaya entered his lieutenant's private quarters. The place was even more of a mess than usual.

"Matsumoto! Wake up! You've got a lieutenant's meeting in 15 minutes!"

She barely moved. "Still…so drunk…"

"Lieutenant! Move it!"

"I'm not your lieutenant any more. I resigned my commission."

"I'm warning you…"

"Look, captain, be a sweetie-pie and let me have the day off. I've got a…over on my desk, there's a favor from Shunsui, written out and everything. Take it. Cover my duties for me today and we'll be even."

She heard him walk over to the desk.

"Very well."

He left the room.

_Wait a second, _she thought._ Had he just…there was no lieutenant's meeting today!_

_/_

11)

Captain Kyoraku sat at his desk, turning an important personnel memo into an origami crane. There was a knock at the door. He looked up and saw Captain Hitsugaya and Lieutenant Kira. The short, white-haired captain was carrying the now-famous slip of paper.

"Come in, gentlemen! What can I do for you? Is my favor finally being claimed?"

The two men entered the office with stern looks. There was only one chair, so Kira stepped back and waited for the captain to take it, but Hitsugaya preferred to remain standing.

"This favor wasn't easy to track down. We need to talk to you. It's about Lieutenant Hinamori."

"Is something wrong?"

"You know that she's been recovering from her injuries, but she's just not bouncing back to her old self. Kira is one of her oldest friends, so I decided to talk to him about how to cheer her up."

"And?"

They both scowled. "We realized that we're not the most cheerful people."

"Ah. I see."

Hitsugaya dropped the slip of paper onto Kyoraku's desk.

"So tell us…what can we do to cheer her up?"

Captain Kyoraku picked up the note with a relieved smile. He quietly intoned a low-level kido, and the note ignited and disappeared.

"Very well. Let me think about Momo for a moment."

He paused.

Kira and Hitsugaya exchanged looks, suddenly realizing that they didn't like Kyoraku thinking about their Momo.

The pink-robed captain muttered to himself, "let's see… highly-ranked officer…proper, high personal standards…traumatic life event. It's simple. Water balloons."

"What?" said Kira and Hitsugaya in unison.

/

conclusion)

Lieutenant Hinamori was taking her daily walk. The sun felt warm on her, and she always used to enjoy the park outside the Fifth Division headquarters.

This was her one responsibility of the day, making sure she got fresh air. The rest of the division was covering her workload. She could see the disappointment in their eyes, that she wasn't emerging as a leader for them. Maybe if she took on more responsibilities, but no, she barely had the strength for her daily walk.

This park had too many bad memories for her. All those times when she'd been happy, now the thoughts were soured with treachery. Splat!

What?

Someone had just hit her in the face with a water balloon! She was drenched! She looked up, and there was her childhood friend Toshiro, in his haori, holding another water balloon at the ready.

"Arm yourself!" he shouted.

She was too stunned to react, then felt tears welling up. Why would a friend do such a thing? Hadn't he promised to always protect her? After all she'd been through…

She saw a movement out of the corner of her eye, and instinctively pivoted. Izuru's balloon whizzed just past her left shoulder. He was standing about fifteen paces away, the look on his face less confident than Shiro's, but he too was reaching for another balloon.

She stepped back and ducked behind the nearest tree. There was a cardboard box at the base of the tree, filled with dozens of water balloons. So this is how it is. Shiro was low to the ground and slightly behind a hill, but Izuru was out in the open, and she fired off two quick rounds in his direction. One balloon hit him in the chest. He looked probably as stunned as she had a few moments earlier, then he too found his determination. Then a balloon flew at him from Shiro's direction. Both lieutenants were dripping wet in seconds, laughing hysterically and doing their best to make every shot count.

"Amateur!" came a shout from behind a shrub. The voice of Captain Kyoraku. "An exposed flank!" shouted Ukitake from another direction. The captains bombarded poor Shiro, nearly knocking him off his feet in a crossfire.

Momo watched as Izuru picked up a large rock and threw it in her direction. A rock? How far was he taking this? The throw went high. She followed it with her eyes, a moment too late seeing that it was aimed at a giant bucket positioned in the tree above her….


End file.
